ManArtLaundry(yet again)

I should be doing so much shit right now-

-laundry (it will ruin my life I swear)
-cleaning my room
-cleaning my apartment
-graduating
-possibly being with a man
-building my art portfolio

Oh well. I'll write a blog...

So feeling a little down the last few days, why? I don't know. I should be happy, one of my closest friends moved in, and it's the beginning of the summer. Relaxing and working is what I should be doing, however, I guess it's not happening. I should be in a relationship. The sticky and sweet one. My mom said it right, I'll be in one when I want to be in one. I think subconciously I don't want one. College relationships are complicated. I am currently "socializing" with a male, and I guess, we just have a weird friend thing. Friends for too long, then it gets complicated and then no one wants to dissect our relationship. I sure as fuck don't. W'ell see i guess. I don't want to ruin whats going on now. Maybe he'll hit his head one day and show up at my door, but i doubt it.

Great sex. I think he knows it's great sex but doesn't know what to do with it. I sure don't.

I really need to start getting going with my art portfolio. It sucks and if I want a J.O.B. well then I need to get a good one, and fast. I really want an artshow next year...really good for my resume.

I wish I didn't smoke. I might feel better, and I am talking about both substances. They kill me I am sure of it. But i figure...I'm in college. I'm supposed to feel like crap, and look like crap too.

I think I have procrastinated enough.

Back to laundry and cleaning, I'll get to that man eventually.


currently listening to:
"You're Face"
Pepper

LaundrySummerAndFriends

so...college paperwork and college papers ruin my life. Having a hard time with a professor. And I should hate him, but the thing is that I like him. He's a little old man, but he his hard to please. Fucking film classes.

My roomates are moving out soon. And soon new ones will move in. Great friends are moving in, and I can't wait. The cups are gone out of the cabinet, and im currently drinking water out of a wine glass...awesome.

I love the show ER. I don't know why. I've been watching it since my mom liked it when it was on prime time. Now I have to get up and watch it in the morning. I wish the show never ended. Kind of makes me wanna be a doctor...but hell no, wayyy to much school.

I miss being an RA.

I currently have 5 loads of laundry to do.

I am going to go wine tasting today...and maybe ill pursuade Lauren to give me a tour of the cooperstown brewery. Excited for the next few days and being with friends that are graduating...i wish i was graduating, but the next year should be better than this year.

This summer should be great. Maine for a few days...Myrtle Beach to visit Lauren...and home.
Working and being a Manager at Friendlys....ehh...should be fun. Make money.

I think thats all for right now.

EdgarAllenPoeWoodyAllenAndCollegeWoes

I'm studying for a film final tomorrow. The theory and directors thoughts and creativity. I feel like I'm studying for my interview with Woody Allen. I know everything about him, and some stuff I really didn't need to know.

Feels good to end the semester. A huge weight has lifted off my shoulders. This semester was tough. I will never take another computer class in my life. Technology hates me, and I hate Technology. It's a great understanding. However, I feel like I did accomplish something this semester by conquering my own fear of technology. And I learned a lot. I'm proud of most of what I've done. My portfolio is well on it's way.

I have a problem and it's not even a problem that I need to face right now. My parents are thinking about moving down to SC, and I'm freaking out. My entire life has been in Upstate NY, and I always thought I was going to end up in NYC, and now I'm not so sure. A really good friend of mine is moving down there too along with her parents, and I can see myself down there. But I will not be as successful down there. Opportunities are far more realistic in the city I think. But lets not think on that right now.

Edgar Allen Poe is a artist that I respect and loath. After reading him I think dark thoughts and then I think about how he married his 13yr old cousin, and then I just think he's crazy. But it's refreshing reading something written by someone that just doesn't care about what everyone's gonna think. He just writes what he likes and fuck everyone else. That's awesome. I can't possibly completely stop thinking about what people think. I don't know why. My mother raised me to not care, but I do. And I can't stop. I always care about what my grandparents would think, not so much on what my parents will think, and that's mostly because no matter what I do, they will always accept me. It's great that I have parents that are like that. Some people don't and I feel sorry for them. I could get a disgusting tattoo on my face, and they would still tell me I'm pretty.

The part of college that I hate is the constant leaving of friends. You make so many friends and acquaintances, and in the end you end up leaving them, or they leave you and you might never see them again. I've had the luxury if doing that way too many times. And now, best friends are leaving, and I am savoring the last few days/weeks of being with them. And plans, plans are best kept for planning people.